I watched this episode of The Chosen last night. Here are a few thoughts and questions:

The events depicted in this episode are mostly drawn from John 10.

There is a strong sense that time is running out. Jesus feels the weight of his death coming upon him. Judas feels the desperate need to get Jesus to move more quickly, to declare himself openly, raise his army, and bring in the kingdom. The other disciples? They are still just along for the ride.

Judas is absolutely sure he understands Jesus and what he aims to do. He is so deeply committed to Jesus that he wants to do all he can to extend Jesus’ ministry. John, his fellow disciple, perceives Judas’ deep commitment. Because of his recent experience (with his brother James) in asking Jesus for positions on his right and left when he comes into his kingdom, John is at the point where he understands that he doesn’t understand. He suggests to Judas that instead of organizing the disciples for a fundraising mission he should talk to Jesus about his concerns. Judas does go to Jesus. Judas prefaces his pitch to Jesus with a claim that he’s “thinking big.” He barely gets any words out until Jesus tells him he’s not thinking big enough. The fruit of the conversation is that we see Judas doesn’t understand Jesus but Judas fails to see his lack of understanding.

How often are we better than Judas at perceiving our own lack of understanding of Jesus and what he’s up to? How often do we get attached to our good ideas to advance the work of God without ever confirming that they are God ideas and not just good ideas?

Thomas continues to grieve. Peter directs Thomas to Isaiah 55, “‘My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways,’ says the LORD.” True enough, Thomas says, but not helpful. Thomas has questions that he believes aren’t being answered. It’s ok to ask questions, isn’t it? Peter claims, “It’s not wrong to ask question. It is wrong to not accept the answers.” Peter knows he’s on shaky ground, recognizing he doesn’t have confident sure-fire answers for Thomas. Do you think we’re better than Thomas at sticking with Jesus when we don’t hear the answers we want to hear?

Rabbi Yusuf’s father expresses pride in his son and says of himself, “Sometimes I wish I didn’t always take the path of least resistance.” In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus identified his way, the way that leads to life, as the narrow less-chosen way. How do we learn to recognize this narrow way, a way on which we often encounter resistance? Surely not all resistance is bad, is it? When Jesus confronts Saul on the Road to Damascus, he indicates that Saul has been pushing against the resistance Jesus himself has put up against him.

Jesus’ teaches in the temple that he is the Good Shepherd. This can be a comforting message when we are willing to understand ourselves as the sheep he is gathering as his own. On the surface, the religious authorities that opposed him demonstrated indignation at Jesus’ claims of authority and identity with the Father. A bit deeper, they were probably feeling how this teaching connected with Ezekiel 34. Reading John 10 alongside Ezekiel 34 we see not only a high Christology (which they would consider blasphemous), but also an implicit attack on their leadership.

2 “Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel; prophesy, and say to them, even to the shepherds, Thus says the Lord God: Ah, shepherds of Israel who have been feeding yourselves! Should not shepherds feed the sheep? 3 You eat the fat, you clothe yourselves with the wool, you slaughter the fat ones, but you do not feed the sheep. 4 The weak you have not strengthened, the sick you have not healed, the injured you have not bound up, the strayed you have not brought back, the lost you have not sought, and with force and harshness you have ruled them. 5 So they were scattered, because there was no shepherd, and they became food for all the wild beasts. My sheep were scattered; 6 they wandered over all the mountains and on every high hill. My sheep were scattered over all the face of the earth, with none to search or seek for them.

7 “Therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the Lord: 8 As I live, declares the Lord God, surely because my sheep have become a prey, and my sheep have become food for all the wild beasts, since there was no shepherd, and because my shepherds have not searched for my sheep, but the shepherds have fed themselves, and have not fed my sheep, 9 therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the Lord: 10 Thus says the Lord God, Behold, I am against the shepherds, and I will require my sheep at their hand and put a stop to their feeding the sheep. No longer shall the shepherds feed themselves. I will rescue my sheep from their mouths, that they may not be food for them.

11 “For thus says the Lord God: Behold, I, I myself will search for my sheep and will seek them out. 12 As a shepherd seeks out his flock when he is among his sheep that have been scattered, so will I seek out my sheep, and I will rescue them from all places where they have been scattered on a day of clouds and thick darkness. 13 And I will bring them out from the peoples and gather them from the countries, and will bring them into their own land. And I will feed them on the mountains of Israel, by the ravines, and in all the inhabited places of the country. 14 I will feed them with good pasture, and on the mountain heights of Israel shall be their grazing land. There they shall lie down in good grazing land, and on rich pasture they shall feed on the mountains of Israel. 15 I myself will be the shepherd of my sheep, and I myself will make them lie down, declares the Lord God. 16 I will seek the lost, and I will bring back the strayed, and I will bind up the injured, and I will strengthen the weak, and the fat and the strong I will destroy. I will feed them in justice.

The episode ends with chaos. Jesus and his disciples return to their lodgings bruised and bloody, having barely escaped stoning in Jerusalem. Arriving, Jesus finds a message that his friend Lazarus is dead. The disciples are confused and demoralized, not sure what to think. How could Jesus – the Messiah! – be routed in Jerusalem? How could Jesus – the miracle worker! – have left Lazarus to die in Bethany? And now Jesus is talking about going to Lazarus. What? Why? Some may be wondering if Jesus is becoming unhinged. If Jesus is becoming unhinged, if his ministry is on the verge of failing, what does that say about their own future?

Mary perceives that Jesus is hurting. It’s not just that he was hit by some stones. He hurts from the rejection and hard hearts he’s experienced. He tells her he’s hurting on the outside and the inside. She says that she, too, hurts on the inside. He says, “That’s because you’ve been listening.”

How well do we listen? Do we pay attention to Jesus in such a way that the things that break his heart break our hearts? Do our hearts hurt for those who are running away from him?